Children

I knew when we made the choice not to homeschool Gabby that sending her to school would be hard. Let's face it, kids are horrible. They are mean and can be the biggest bullies. Do you remember being in school? Do you remember the mean things other kids said to you or maybe, that you said to them? I was on both ends of that spectrum, I was mean and other kids were mean to me. I often want to contact the children, now adults, that I was mean to and say "I'm sorry". But what would that bring? They'd probably blast me for being mean in the first place and say it's too late. In my first school, I was quiet and shy and because I had been there forever, from the beginning, alot of kids left me alone. And really, there wasn't anyone to be mean to, I was just that quiet and shy. When I changed schools at 13 is when reality hit of how cruel children could be. I wasn't an original in the school, so I was targeted and picked on and bullied and all around made miserable. But I moved through and made some friends (John, if you ever read this, please know I thank you from the bottom of my heart for protecting me and being my friend, you made high school ten times easier.) and yes, I picked on the lesser fortunate kids than me. (Kristy, Helen, I'm especially sorry to the two of you, I was very mean and I am very, very sorry) I made it through however, damaged and sensitive and determined that what I experienced my daughter would NOT experience if I could help it in any way.
Gabby has had her problems. She has been and is being bullied by a little boy. We've talked to the teacher and Gabby herself went to the principal. This boy is mean to her, my husband and I witnessed it with our own eyes when he thought no one was looking. She's had to deal with him for two years now, last year and this year and this year we're going to the principal and demanding they be put in seperate classes next year. This won't be the first time the principal has heard this, another parent did the same thing last year about this year and demanded their daughter not be put in class with him. And it's come down to this-I told her the next time he touches her, to get into his face and warn him if he touches her again, she's going to make sure he won't do it again. He's shorter than her, I told her to intimidate him. Yes, it's wrong, but you know what? He's done enough to her that we're at our wits end. And I already warned you in the beginning, I'm making sure my daughter knows how to stand up for herself, this won't happen to her if I can help it.
There's another little girl in Gabby's class who lies...alot. She says things so far fetched that sometimes I have to laugh. She's constantly telling stories and only a second grader could believe it. I have to dispel those lies when my daughter gets home, it's so stupid. This child also tends to say things that are not so nice. Yesterday out of the blue she told my daughter that she wished Gabby and her best friend didn't know about an extracurricular thing the three of them were because she doesn't like Gabby and her best friend and doesn't want them to be in it. WHAT?! You have to be kidding me, seriously. What would prompt a child to say that type of thing? (it might be the parent, I know) She's also said various other mean things. Why, as parents, can't we teach our children kindness? I'm trying, more than I'm trying to teach her to be mean, to be kind and it's paying off. You know how I know? Not long ago one of my friends, a mom of Gabby's friend, im'd me and informed me my daughter was now a bodyguard. She is? That's news to me, since I'd been thinking she needed a bodyguard more than anything. It seems some boys were picking on her friend and Gabby helped her friend and then went and informed a teacher what was going on. This, more than anything is what I want from my daughter. I want her to be well rounded enough to be friends with everyone, to help everyone, to be kind. But I don't want her being shy and quiet and awkward, because I can tell you firsthand how that turns out. To this day when I come across one of the mean ones from high school-one of whom is a teacher, it makes my skin crawl. I'm terrified that this person is a teacher when she was one of the meanest people I know. I'm glad we're not in her school district. It's possible she's changed, as a person but for the sake of not knowing, I never want anything to do with her.
I think it's worse today than when we were children. Our children are more spoiled, more babied, more priveledged. And taught less kindness. We've come a long way with racism, yes. But people are still being judged on their looks, their families, their material things. I vow to protect my daughter. If it means putting her in karate to teach herself self defense, then so be it. If it means teaching her to stand up to a small little boy who has punched her and gotten away with it, then so be that too. I'm also teaching her to be kind, because everyone is different and no one deserves to be picked on, to be told they aren't good enough because they are wearing Walmart sneakers instead Nikes. Everyone deserves a chance. I'm hoping she has a good experience in school. It took me a long time to overcome mine and sometimes I still deal with it. Let's face it, as parents, with parents, it's like going to back to high school all over again. Sometimes the parents in our school are more childish than the parents themselves. And meaner. In our school? Watch your back. Chances are, there's a parent behind you with a knife in one hand and a smile on their face when you turn around. I'm sure it's like that everywhere.
Ok, stepping down off my soapbox now, just had to get that out. :)